A True Story of Roberta

A girl hated by all. She is underestimated by everyone. They think that she is just a pain in the butt, or should I say, a pathetic loser. She couldn't blame them maybe because she looks and acts like one. She finds out all the backstabbing her friends do. It hurts her so deeply bad. It is the worst of all feelings. She cries at night knowing how her friend could do such an evil thing...betrayal thing.

But then again, she couldn't blame her. Maybe because she is really a bad person. Despite of all this crap, she don't back stab her friend. What she does is ignore the conversation she saw. She believes that she needs to understand her for the sake of their friendship...because she loves her. Why on earth does it always need to be her to understand everything?,she thinks. Her friends whines out how deeply she hates her. She is in shock by the words she has left. But after all the bullshits, the faking faces, the face making, the eyes rolling and the immature, sensitive things her friend says that truthfully get on her nerves, she does nothing but accept, forgive and let go. Because all she wants is inner peace. All she wants is to be positive but her own world is so negative. It's ironic how she describes herself as a sensitive person but she never shows it to people.  She believes that her friend is not, but acts like one. As far as she knows, sensitive people, in a negative sense, are people who are self-centered and selfish brats. They only think of themselves and never look at the both sides of  everything. They think that what is stored in their mind is always right. They believe that they're always right. And, worst of all, they WHINE a lot...She never thought her friend will act like this. She always pray that somehow or somewhat everything will turn out good. but how?

Drama. She hates it but her friends are the one causing and starting it. She doesn't know what she did wrong and what is going on. All she knows is that the problem is not with her. No, not because she thinks she is the right one but she really doesn't know what's wrong. Maybe her friends just overthink a lot and thinks of all the negatives. She needs her friends and she can't take that their friendship would end in a tragic way. Even they're talking behind her back, she still can't do the same. She can't  and never will do the same, she  promises. She will never ever points out their flaws because she loves them.Love, is patient and kind, never resentful nor keeps records of wrongs. And she accepts that she can never receive the same amount of love she has given to them. She loves them so much that they can hurt her so bad.

She sticks to her principle that she has to accept the fact that she is surrounded by negative people and let the inner peace be with her all the time. She knows the feeling of being discriminated, pulled down and dictated. Sometimes, hatred and bitterness are trying to eat her but she doesn't want this to happen. Even if this stupid love is hurting her, even after all the negatives, the pain she still CAN'T do the same. She can't revenge because that's the way she has taught herself to survive.

Again, she is just a plain underestimated girl. She also feels what other ordinary girls do. She is not a dumb thumb-sucking numb. She feels pain that she is starting to hate people. In fact, she doesn't want her friends be the reasons she hates school or the reasons she hates people. Once, she had hated the men. Her uncle made her hate men, and the reason is something shouldn't be told here. She doesn't want that to happen again because it is the worst thing her friends can do to her.

She believes in KARMA that's why even her friends are spilling her beans one by one, she still can't do the same. She will never hold grudges. She believes that people are going to leave you at the end but God never will and comes up with her principle to TRUST NO ONE. She trusts her friends wholeheartedly. She even trust those people whom she never thought will never point out how bad she is.

SECRETS. Her friends can't understand the fact that she is not that showy person, that she is  against letting people read their own diary and their own letters. WHY? she thinks. Why can't they understand that we have to keep some secrets only to ourselves? She keeps those because they would just backstab again, roll their eyes, talk about it behind her back and fake faces and smiles.And start the drama again.

The only thing that gets on her nerves is how people even her friends underestimate her. No, you are wrong. It doesn't mean she wants them to compliment her or say good things to her. All she wants is not to hear her flaws from other people who don't even know who she really is and her story. All she wants is for them to shut up their mouth because they know nothing about her. All she wants is for them to keep their comments to themselves and get their own lives to live by. She can't blame them again, maybe because she is just a short, long haired, stupid-looking, muted dumb girl who never wants to change just to fit in with the crowd, who never wants to let go her principles. She doesn't want to cheat in examinations just to get higher grades because she is not that desperate to look smart from their eyes. It doesn't matter to her if she looks dumb to other people. What matters the most is how God sees her. She would rather be dumb in front of yours than be a desperate cheater in His eyes. That's why she is always left out. She wants to leave her school as soon as possible. She wants a new life to start again.

Love Yourself. That's what she always says to herself. Love yourself as much as you can because no one else will.No one can and never will. She has to love herself more than anything else because that's the only thing that's left to her.

And now she wishes:

My dear friend, I have been loving you and always will because you are my ever-dearest  friend. I know somehow we'll understand each other and everything's gonna be fine. But, will that ever happen if you don't even have a single amount of trust on me anymore? I'm so sorry for what I did. I don't really know what made you ignore me. But please just say ''I hate you'' than ignoring me. This is bothering me. I wrote hoping to lessen the burden inside of me. What shall I do? I don't want to lose a friend like you. Please let me know the problem. or MY PROBLEM. There's one wish I would like to say: Please refuse from talking behind my back, rolling your eyes and making faces.If you may, Please do it intelligently that I can't see you doing it.

Begging for forgiveness,
Roberta


This is a true story originally written by myself.
Thanks for reading! :) I hope you learned something.

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